Losing our baby was hard, I wasnt prepared for the shock you go into. How one minute you are pregnant and the next minute you arent. I knew for my family sake I needed to really make sure I faced the process and not shutdown (being an introvert). All I can say from my experience that happened last week was that I was very happy mum for 4 months and felt very special that I did have that brief time with baby. I must say for me I would not have coped at all without immediate counselling, I was so out of it. I was so freaked with having to face the living, as well as face the loss. I felt that I am now able to talk and express feelings that are usually very private. I followed the advice to let Clay also get the message out quick with everyone offline, expressing to everyone to talk about normal things, whilst I didnt want to pretend it didnt happen, and encourage friends to see me or call me. It was a very big step and one I have become closer to all my friends I didnt realise could be closer than they already were. So I hope that, for anyone who goes through this, to say YES and talk to a 'care counsellor' as you go through the process...I would definitely not have coped well without it...I also didnt just talk to my obstetrician, I spoke to my clinic midwife, then the hospital nurse, then 2 care counsellors and revisiting one of the care counsellors next week for a follow up and she called me last week. I found that it helped me really face the world and express my sadness, anger, regret and shock...properly so it wouldnt come out later.
One thing I held onto was what the care counsellor said - "Nuture yourself"
So I went surfing - the first time in 3 years - funny enough it really nutured my soul and I had a real big smile on my face. | 
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